the time I died in the grass

Once upon a time, I went running with Juhee.

Yeah, I know, running is stupid and painful, but I hadn’t seen her all day and I had missed her face. (On the bright side, I doubled my step goal and got to jam out to T-Swizzle.) Thus, I dropped my uneaten cake on the table, and went to grab my tennis shoes. I quickly hyped myself up for the run by telling myself that I could be the next Oprah Winfrey, and ran downstairs to meet up with Juhee.

We started out easy, stretching on the Campus Green while planning our run. Little did I know that my lungs and legs (and all my body parts) were about to catch on fire. We started running, and Juhee had picked out a hill to run up at the beginning of our route. A HILL. A TALL, STEEP, PAINFUL HILL. I panted, physically weak (like I’m 100% out of shape) as I fought against the hill and somehow made it over. We then continued to run OFF CAMPUS (that’s how far we ran) to a sketchy gas station. (In case you were wondering, I was now 110% dead.) I stopped and walked a couple of times because I actually thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest, but I had committed to running, so I was gonna run (I could be the next Oprah Winfrey, keep up.)

We finally finished our run, and were calmly walking back to our dorm when we once again encountered the Campus Green. I then had the brightest idea ever. Why not finish our run strong by doing one lap around the Green?

IT WAS A MISTAKE. I gave Juhee a motivational speech (I called her a sparkly unicorn) and we set off. (aka she did a lap and I cut through the Green for a shorter route and still died). Juhee finished before me (even though I cheated) and was pacing in circles as I thudded my way over, loudly yelling about how stupid running is. Once I reached her, I promptly laid down on the grass and continued my rant (Long story short, I basically just said that the world is a bad place because running exists).

Unfortunately for me, a certain someone (who shall remain un-named) that I had recently friend-zoned happened to walk by at that moment with a group of his friends. I was still blasting Taylor Swift in my headphones, so I didn’t notice Juhee subtly trying to alert me that he was there. Buuuuttttt I didn’t notice and I continued with my rant from the grass. According to Juhee, he glanced and acted normally, but apparently his friends were staring and laughing at me (RIP me).

Juhee didn’t tell me this until they were well out of earshot, but I was SHOOK.  I had just embarrassed myself and probably that guy too (for liking me) in front of all of his friends. Rip me. Anywayssss, I’m telling myself that I helped him get over me by acting like my normal, crazy self to help ebb the flow of embarrassment.

Going to stop lying and yelling on the grass,

Emily

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falling for fall

Oh how I love fall. The swirls of pumpkin spice floating around in the breeze, the crisp, cool air brushing against your skin, the warm, cozy sweaters and scarves, who could ask for more? In honor of my love for all things fall, I’ve written a small, lil’ fall poem. Enjoy!

I am a crispy fall leaf,

floating through the breeze.

Tumbling and twirling,

without thoughts of freeze,

I am warm but not,

cold but hot.

Frosting the grass,

overheating your path.

I’m here now, hello,

turning all the leaves yellow.

Don’t pass me by,

stop me and say hi.

I can’t stay long,

but I’ll leave you with my song.

 

Falling down the stairs (it hurt),

Emily

single again

Rip my love life.

Remember that time that I was excited about a guy? Back in the day (aka 1 month ago), I was ecstatic about starting a relationship with a guy that I thought I had chemistry with. Unfortunately, I backed out.

Having never been in a real relationship, I’m very wary about getting involved in relationships. I usually debate well in advance whether or not I should even pursue one, making pro and con lists for days. What if I pick the wrong guy? That means I’ll have to experience heartbreak and loss, and I’m not sure I could handle completely losing someone that I’m so close to. Maybe that’s why I always keep my boyfriends at an arm’s length. Maybe that’s why none of my relationships last longer than a month.

We had fun grabbing coffee, and just talking in general, but we never actually connected. Maybe I didn’t give it enough time. Maybe I was too hasty in judging him. Maybe I’m just desperate. So many thoughts swirling around in my head.

My roommates and I decided to invite him to a game night, so that they could get to know him (this was before I started freaking out about the whole relationship thing). I excitedly invited him over, and paced while he replied. It was official. He was coming. (We also invited one of his friends so he would know someone else besides me.)

He arrived with his friend and the party began. LOL, actually the party began when one of my roommates got back from yoga. We ate toaster waffles, and immersed ourselves in board games. Four hours later, we were checking him and his friend out of our dorm, and I officially had a verdict. I was gonna let him go.

What next? What did I do? I carefully typed out a friendly text, telling him that I just wanted to be friends because my schedule was so busy. What now? We awkwardly smile and say hello when we run into each other. How do I feel? Relieved, sad, desperate, and very scared of commitment.

the perks of being clumsy

Floating across the room has never been my forte; however, being clumsier than a rock provides me with many opportunities. Without this valuable skill, I would never have become such close friends with the floor. With the amount of effort we spend polishing the floor, it is a shame that people do not spend more time peering closely at it – from the ground, of course.

With my awesome ability to trip over any object, I have gained much research experience performing my heroic duties. Every time I trip and fall, I test the forces of gravity.  I save the world, one fall at a time.

When I was six, my parents enrolled me in dance classes. My first lesson was a memorable one. I not only knocked over my dance teacher, but I also accidentally banged my head against the barre. When my dance teacher finally recognized my immense talent in clumsiness, she immediately kept her distance, jealous of my potential. As the years passed, my skills only progressed. I kicked myself in the head while doing a botma. My head greeted my old friend – the floor – while stretching in my splits. I earned several beautiful bruises when coming out of fouttes with an illusion. One by one, my badges of clumsiness slowly accumulated.

While many claim that clumsiness is a curse, I believe in the power of the klutz. Because of my talent, people find me funny. Stories of walking into poles, tumbling down stairs, and falling face first during graduation have led to many bouts of belly-aching laughter and knee slapping joviality.

Clumsiness has also helped me fit in with all the pre-meds on this campus. As a pre-optometry student in my narrative medicine class, eye often feel disjointed. Because I am prone to scratches, bruises, and broken bones, I have gained many first-hand clinical experiences, learning through all my check-ups that I do not want to chase the MD (let’s be real, I would fall!).

So, when you are all in medical school and need patients to examine, I will always be available, most definitely injured.

 

the first month of college

YAY EDUCATION.

Coming back to college is always fun. Decorating your new space, reuniting with friends, eating too much food with your roommates, it’s all a swirl of fun. That is, until the first test hits. BUT, my first test hasn’t hit yet, so here’s a list of fun things that everyone should do in when they come back to college (or just anytime bc the first month already passed ahaha rip my idea)!

  1. Decorate your dorm room!!! You’re going to be spending a whole bunch of time here, so you might as well make it look nice (aka give your eyes something nice to look at after staring at yucky homework for hours)
  2. Have a midnight feast with your roomies! What better way to bond than to eat a crap ton of junk food and talk late into the night?
  3. Go on a shopping spree with friends. I mean you’re obviously stressed (not yet but oh well) and retail therapy is the best therapy! You now have a lot more people to review your clothing choices, so make the most of it!
  4. Go to a workout class at the gym. It’s the beginning of the semester, and you’re still (somewhat) fresh and full of energy. Go rock that Aquadance class and crush it at kickboxing. Sure, your body might die, but hey, at least you’re making the most of your gym fee.
  5. BAKE. What better way to procrastinate on writing that 15 page research paper and literary analysis? Plus, you’ll have the added bonus of eating whatever you make, soooo it’s basically a win-win situation.
  6. Have a game night. The perfect way to laugh the night (and morning) away with your friends.
  7. Make brunch with your roomies! Toaster waffles, chocolate, fresh fruit, whipped cream, and a whole lot of bacon are a perfect way to start a lazy Saturday.
  8. Hit up all the events with free food. It’s the beginning of the semester. Trust me. There will be free food.

And that’s how you do it. That’s how you have the best first month of college.

Brb, crying because my first test is on Tuesday.

Enjoying life (minus the test),

Emily

PS-ahahahaha I’m stressed but also happy because I just ate a whole bunch of waffles.

begging for respect

“Hey babe, why don’t you come over and stay up all night with me?”

“Come play with me.”

“Why don’t you show me what’s under that dress of yours?”

“Dang, she thick!”

“Smile for me, baby.”

These are just a handful of phrases that have been flung my way in conversations on the streets, in text messages, in grocery stores, in gyms, in elevators, EVERYWHERE. I don’t walk outside by myself at night at all, for fear of who/ what is lurking in the shadows. Going about daily life in broad daylight hasn’t been much better. Accompanied with once-overs and intense stares, I have felt unsafe, nervous, and have even been followed back to my apartment by a STRANGER (thank goodness for automatically locking gates).

What kind of society is this? What happened to being polite? Respecting women?

Am I no more than my body? My “juicy” butt? What about the GPA that I have worked so hard for? What about the fact that I have been classically trained in dance and piano for 15 years? What about the fact that I got into the early optometry school acceptance program? What about the fact that I am accomplished in making puns? What about the fact that I can make the BEST chocolate chip cookies? Do all of my accomplishments and my personality not matter? Am I nothing more than a sexual object?

I don’t want to hear things about my butt, how good I look, and don’t even mention that three letter word that begins with “s” and ends with “ex”. Listen. Get to know me. Please, I’m begging you.

You must be thinking, this girl is a skank. She got what she deserved because of the way she dressed. That’s not the case here. I have been catcalled in a baggy t-shirt and leggings as well as in a turtleneck sweater and jeans. That time that I was followed to my apartment by a stranger? Yeah, I was wearing professional attire– a dress with a neckline at my collarbones, and a hemline down at my knees. It wasn’t revealing in any way.

Okay, so if it’s not the way that I dress, I must be walking through “sketchy” parts of town, right? Wrong again. I live in a well-rated, gated apartment complex right off of the UAB campus. Surrounded by a supermarket, and restaurants, it’s a pretty safe place to be. Where am I walking? I’m walking 0.7 miles to my classroom from my apartment, through the research/ medical side of campus. Considered a safe area? Definitely. Does it feel like a safe area to me? Not so much.

At first, I was consumed with guilt. I felt bad that I was causing all this turmoil around me. I was causing people to yell out of their cars, honk, type inappropriate things into their phones, and pause whatever they were doing. However, after months of trying to remedy the situation, I’ve officially given up trying.

What can I do? I’ve tried dressing modestly. I’ve tried confronting those who say these demeaning things (this was hard because I’m usually too scared to respond). I’ve avoided the “sketchy” parts of town. I’ve avoided boys (this failed, I was catcalled by girls ). So I repeat, what can I do? What more can I do?

Should I just let these people taunt me? Is there nothing I can do? There’s nothing more that I would like to do than to kick the offender in a very sensitive area, with no consequences. However, this action usually warrants rape, a fight, or in very rare cases, a reluctant apology. And just like that, I’m back to square one. What more can I do?

Flustered and frustrated,

Emily

PS- I know that not everyone is like this, but this has happened to me so much that I felt I needed to write it out to stay sane. I know this isn’t my usual happy/ awkward post about my life, but this has been something on my mind for the past few months, and it’s really started to bother me recently.

My Addiction to Drama

Pretty Little Liars is over (Okay it’s been over for a while now, but I MISS IT). I don’t know what to do. My access to soul soothing, nail-biting, heart-racing drama is gone. I know who A.D. is. There’s no more waiting or suspense. Sure, the show is still on Netflix, but the thrill of waiting, discovering new details, is gone. So, how do I fill this void in my life?

Three words: I make drama.

LOL JK. I’m too busy to create drama.

I look at my surroundings. Animals are adorable. People are hilarious. Who would have thought that paying attention to your surroundings would be so much fun?

In this day and age, when everyone is running around staring at their phones, tablets, and not looking at the world around them, many small, fun details are lost. Just the other day, I glanced up from my Instagram feed to see a bird hopping over to a squirrel. Intrigued, I stopped in my tracks (causing the person walking behind me to bump into me but lol that’s not the point). The bird was holding a big ol’ piece of bread and wowza that bread looked good (I hadn’t eaten breakfast). But it was what happened next that surprised me and almost had me happy crying– the bird dropped the piece of bread in front of the squirrel.

By this time, I was freaking out and struggling not to make any high-pitched squeals that would scare the two lil’ fluffballs. The squirrel then proceeded to take the piece of bread, eat a good half of it, and place the rest of the bread on the ground. The bird then began to peck at the bread (I was totally thinking about the bird’s crop and gizzard. I know I know, I’m a nerd. It’s not my fault, we had just learned about this.)

I couldn’t believe what had just happened. I HAD JUST SEEN THE SECRET FRIENDSHIP OF A SQUIRREL AND A BIRD. Was this even possible? Are all birds and squirrels friends? What else have I been missing out on??!!!!

Not staring at your phone while walking also helps you not trip as much. Oh, and it also helps you not get run over by a car. Pfft I’m not speaking from personal experience or anything. (Fun fact: if you look up from your phone when walking, you can watch other people walking while looking at their phones almost get run over by cars. Let me just tell you, it’s so much more suspenseful and dramatic than PLL.)

Happy world-watching!!!!

Love,

Emily

PS- yes, I’ve almost been hit by multiple cars

PPS- it’s okay I survived I’m still alive

after the date

Once upon a time, I had a coffee date. It went swimmingly and we talked about anything and everything: dogs, coffee, classes that we were taking. When the date came to a close, we awkwardly (and I mean AWKWARDLY) hugged and exchanged numbers, promising to meet again. As I walked away, I couldn’t help but do a subtle (kinda) look back at him (WE LOCKED EYES IT WAS AWKWARD) and smile. Life was great.

It wasn’t until a day had passed that I began to think (aka overthink). Did he have fun? Did I have fun?! Was I supposed to make the next move because he was the one that initiated our date??

I turned to my trusty search engine, Google, and immediately stumbled upon a plethora of posts about second dates. I quickly became overwhelmed and ended up laying on the floor. The majority of posts said that the guy would contact me immediately after the date if he enjoyed the date. I let out a sigh as I laid on the floor and began to contemplate my life choices. He didn’t like me. He hadn’t enjoyed our date.

During my mini breakdown on the floor, I remembered the conversation that I had with some of my friends right after I had gotten back from my date. They had screamed (a LOT) and reassured me (after I had spilled all the details) that my date and I definitely had chemistry (ahahaha funny because he’s a chemistry TA) and that we were going to be a great couple. They had then advised me to wait a couple of days before I contacted him, so that I wouldn’t seem too desperate.

It hit me. If that’s what I was doing, then was he doing the same thing? Was he waiting on a set number of days to pass before he hit me up again? Or was he waiting on me to make the second move?

Anywhoo, none of this matters anymore, because I’m going to see him in a class tomorrow and I’ve decided to ask him to go with me to a cool event that’s happening on campus.

Wish me luck!

Emily

PS- AHAHAHA I’M SO NERVOUS SEND HELP

first date

I’m going on a date with a guy today and I can’t breathe– mainly because my skort is kinda tight and I ate a bunch of chicken nuggets, but also because I’M GOING ON A DATE WITH A GUY TODAY.

It all happened so fast. One day we were hanging out as retreat partners for the honors college, and the next day I’m telling my roommate how cool he is and screaming that he asked me out (we ran down the hall screaming rip other residents).

Being very (VERY) scared of commitment, I waited for the wave of terror to wash over me, but it didn’t come. Surprised, I talked it over with three of my closest friends in the dorm, and then screamed my way back to my room. I was pumped.

Then a couple of days passed, and I FREAKED OUT. We had spent 4 hours together the first day, and no time together the next 2 days. I was low key forgetting what he looked like, and what his personality was like. That’s when I REALLY freaked out. WHAT DID HE THINK ABOUT ME? DID HE THINK I WAS WEIRD? OMG DID I REPLY TOO ENTHUSIASTICALLY TO HIS MESSAGE? WHY DIDN’T HE LIKE MY MESSAGE THAT I WAS REALLY EXCITED? WAS IT TOO MUCH? WAS I TOO MUCH?

Anyways, I’m headed off to my coffee date (omg omg omg I’m so nervous) and I’ll keep you guys updated on how it goes.

Searching for love,

Emily

PS- ready for coffee

PPS- maybe I should get water because my legs are shaking

 

you know you’re best friends when

Best friends. Gotta love them. They’re always there for you, you’re always there for them. Wouldn’t be able to survive without them. I’ve been feeling especially appreciative of my bestie recently (she gave me her one card to use up the rest of her dining dollars) so I’ve decided to write a post about her.

You know you’re best franndddss 5ever when you:

  1. Constantly text each other. When you’re not tagging each other in funny memes, you’re giving them updates on how hot the dude sitting in front of you is or ranting about life.
  2. Talk on the phone for hours. You can’t stand to be separated, and sometimes your fingers just can’t move fast enough to text everything out.
  3. Have a mashup name because you’re always together and it’s so much easier for other people to say one name than two names.
  4. Have people automatically assume that something’s wrong with the other one when you’re not together
  5. Sit together in class. Always. This is especially fun when you get bored and start *discreetly* typing away (texting each other) on your computer about “Hot Arms” who sits in front of you. (He has REALLY HOT ARMS. Seriously.)
  6. Friend hot people on social media together. Perfect for when you’re bored in class. “You ready?” “Yeah BORN READY. On three.” “One.” “Two” “Three”. “Dang it hold on my computer won’t load. OMG I lost wifi connection. Do you think the professor’s onto us? Nah jk it just reloaded. Ready when you are.”
  7. Three words: late night feasts. Basically when you eat everything in the pantry and make trips for fries and greasy food.
  8. Work out together. I mean, you gotta work off the midnight feast that you ate the night before. Who better to do it with than with your best friend who was right there with you? Plus, workouts are always less painful when you’re doing them with your bestie.
  9. Act as each other’s personal therapists. Got a problem with a guy? Bestie’s got ya. Rocky situation with your parents or your other friends? Bestie’s got ya.
  10. Be each other’s personal zit poppers. Hey, what are besties for?
  11. Personal stylist/ second closet. No explanation needed.
  12. Are each other’s personal cheerleader. Doing a presentation? They’ll be the first one cheering and clapping. Attempting a cartwheel in the hall? Yeah they’ll be right there next to you cheering you on.
  13. Immediately look at each other across the room when someone does something stupid. You’ve effectively mastered communicating through eye contact and eyebrow wiggles.
  14. Have a bajillion inside jokes that you both start laughing at when you’re triggered.
  15. Talk to their parents and siblings. Because you’re that close and it’s actually pretty fun.
  16. Plan out your futures where you end up living in houses right next to each other with a secret tunnel that connects the two. Oh and your kids are going to be best friends/ lovers so you can officially become family.

The list could go on and on, but my bestie’s calling so I gotta go. Best friends are the best.

Appreciating my best friend,

Emily