How to not Destroy your Eyes

This post is lovingly dedicated to all of my friends who do crazy things to their eyes. You know who you are. I hope you don’t go blind.

As an aspiring optometrist, I’ve learned a couple of things from my many hours of shadowing. I also have a pretty hefty amount of common sense (@friends how do you guys not have this). So, I’ve provided a helpful list of 8 things not to do to your poor little pair of eyes (they may or may not be specific examples from my friends #CALLEDOUT.)

  1. Don’t skip your annual visit to your optometrist’s office. Especially if you’re a contact lens wearer. Your eyes change so much, and so many bad things can happen to your eyes if you wear contacts. Seriously. I would attach pictures, but they’re really gross and graphic, so I’ll spare you the pain. We can also see other health problems just from checking your eyes. High blood pressure, diabetes, autoimmune disorders, cancer, and tumors are just a couple of examples. Don’t skip your appointment.
  2. Clean your contacts. Please. You don’t want an eye infection.
  3. Don’t clean your contacts with water. Use a contact lens solution. Please. Bacteria from the water could do really bad things to your eyes.
  4. If you run into a tree and a branch goes into your eye (you know who you are), you should go get it checked out with your optometrist. Rubbing your eye repeatedly won’t fix the damage to your cornea that you just caused.
  5. If you can’t see, try putting on your glasses. Remember that pair of glasses that you were prescribed? The pair that you paid good money for? Yeah, those will help you see clearly.
  6. Don’t borrow contacts from your friends. Everyone has a different prescription, and this can lead to headaches and eye strain. Wanna hear a fun story? One time, a friend borrowed a pair of contacts from another friend, and fell asleep Β in them. In the morning, she found her contacts, and put them in. Everything was blurry, so she took her contacts out. But, her vision still wasn’t completely clear. Thus, she began freaking out and planning to go to the ER. After a while, she realized that she still had her friend’s contacts in, and promptly took them out, vowing to never borrow contacts again.
  7. Don’t have staring competitions at the sun. You’re literally frying up your retinas.
  8. If you spill hot sauce in your eye, FLUSH IT OUT with water or a saline solution. Blinking will not make a dent in the pain that you are feeling in your eye.

You’ve only got one pair of eyes. Don’t destroy them. Eye wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

Emily

Advertisements

A Note to Myself

Dear Emily,

Don’t give up. It gets better than this. This is temporary pain for future gain. In a few weeks, 4 to be exact, this constant state of worry and stress will be over. You won’t have to wake up at 6 a.m. and stay up late studying. After this, you won’t be constantly living and breathing biology. Furthermore, those pesky nightmares about making the perfect grade will go away. You will be free to walk around without the weight of a ten pound biology book.

The class you’re taking is a weed-out class, but you’re not a weed. You’re so much better. You are the smart, tenacious, brilliant PETUNIA of your dreams. You are a strong, independent woman. YOU GOT THIS.

So what if you’re triggered every time you see a living creature? You now know their taxonomy, and a whole list of random facts about them. So what if you now think of the path your food takes and the enzymes involved in digestion when you eat? So what if you think of the male and female reproductive systems when you listen to “Life’s a Party” by Hannah Montana because you made up new lyrics to help you study? So what if you randomly spout out “fun” facts about plants that you see when you’re walking? So what if you now have huge bags under your eyes and you’re always tense?

All of this will be worth it when you receive your final grade and successfully complete the class. Just remember, you can do this. You’re already more than halfway done with the class. Push through, and the next thing you know, you’ll be happily binge watching High School Musical, lounging by the pool, catching up with friends, and sleeping to your heart’s content.

You’re stronger than you think.

~Emily

How to Get a Guy to Talk to You

Once upon a time, I was studying for my Biology II Lab exam on the Kingdom Animalia. After learning all the different orders of Class Insecta, I was feeling extremely stressed and a bit grossed out. So, I did the only thing that could have been done: I put on my jingle bell anklets (from my roomie) and started tap dancing (@mom hahaha my 12 years of dance training didn’t go to waste #lit). This is something that has helped me work through the tsunamis and hurricanes of homework and exams for years now. How does this relate to getting a guy to talk to you? Shhhh, I’m getting there.

Boy oh boy, I was killing it. I pulled all of my times steps, breakaways, and old tap routines out of storage and performed them full out. I was in the middle of my one woman kick-line when I heard a pounding at the door (ugh it threw off my groove I totally slipped and face-planted). Quickly crawling my way over to the door, I pulled myself up from the ground and opened the door. Wow. There was a hot dude on my doorstep. Unfortunately for me, he had a scowl on his face.

“Hey could you keep it down? I’m trying to work downstairs.”

I nodded slowly, in awe of his beauty. As he turned and walked down the stairs, I shut the door and ran to text my bestie (because what else are you supposed to do when you see a hot guy?) We exchanged frantic texts where she suggested glitter taping him (this is why I love my bestie @Juhee you da best) and it eventually snowballed into a master plan: be so loud that he comes back and glitter tape him (BEST IDEA EVER, RIGHT?).

Thus, I grabbed my handy dandy glitter tape and continued tippity-tapping away. Sure enough, I was graced with his beautiful presence in the next 5 minutes.

“Hey I have work to do and I can’t concentrate with you stomping around with…ARE YOU WEARING BELLS ON YOUR ANKLES?! I knew I wasn’t crazy! What the heck?!!”

Step one down. Time to initiate step two. I slowly pulled out my glitter tape, stuck a pink sparkly “x” over his mouth, and took a deep breath as I prepared for my response for step three.

“One, it’s called tap dancing. Two, what the heck I’m classically trained. It sounds 10,993,728,300 times ( I’m really proud of myself for making up such a random, big number on the spot) better than stomping. Three, it helps me when I’m stressed. Four, if you’re so stressed, maybe you should try it too!” As I stopped to take a breath, I looked up at him, and he had the most confused expression on his face. Then he pulled off the glitter tape and asked me, “Are you drunk?” I hurriedly waved my hands and said “Oh no, I don’t drink.”

We both stood there awkwardly for a moment, and then he started laughing. He laughed so hard that he bent over and had to wipe tears away from his eyes. Once he recovered from his bout of laughter, he straightened and asked me, “Seriously?” I nodded in return, and he said, “Alright, show me your moves.”

I quickly resumed my one woman kick-line and segued into a routine that I had learned at a master class once. When I finished, he clapped and said, “Wow, you’re pretty good!” I responded with the only answer I could think of, “Yeah dude, I’m awesome.” He then proceeded to ask me to teach him how to tap dance his stress away, and we had fun. I taught him a simple time step and the difference between a shuffle and a flap. When we finished tapping, he excitedly looked at me, and laughingly said, “Omg, I’m gonna go tap downstairs and annoy my downstairs neighbor!” Andddd step five of my plan was complete: the annoying habit had been spread.

Andddd that’s how you get a guy to talk to you. If you have a hot neighbor who lives below you, just casually tap dance loudly with jingle bell anklets on. He’ll definitely come talk to you. Also, make sure to have a roll of glitter tape on hand because glitter taping things is fun.

Okay, in all seriousness, if you want a guy to talk to you, just be yourself! I was my weird ol’ little self and I made a new friend! Granted, he’s 8 years older than me, so we have more of a big bro, lil’ sis relationship, but you can never have too many of those! Nice looking big bros can come in handy.

Tapping through life,

Emily

PS- yes, this actually happened

PPS- yes, I am that weird

PPPS- life is fun

 

Die{t}

I honestly don’t know why I’m writing this post because I eat like a 5 year old and I live off of brownie brittle, chicken nuggets, and potatoes.

Once upon a time I decided to go on a diet. I didn’t really have a plan, though. My philosophy was that if I replaced a couple of chicken nuggets with lettuce, some potatoes with cauliflower, and traded in my brownie brittle for kale, I would turn into a fit and fabulous unicorn. Fun fact: kale tastes yucky, I’m addicted to chicken nuggets (especially the dinosaur ones), and potatoes taste so much better than cauliflower. I lasted two days.

So, what did I do? LOL I gave up. But, seeing all the prime pool weather, I’ve realized that I need to eat better and get rid of my lil’ pouch of goodies on my tummy. (PS- THE FRESHMAN FIFTEEN IS REAL).

Here we go. I’ve decided to start off slow. I’m going to stop snacking on my heavily processed Pop-tarts (I seriously eat like 10 a week) while procrastinating , increase my water intake, and start going to the gym at least 3 times a week. I’m going to do this for a week, and then upgrade my plan for the second week by cutting out sweets (but allowing 1 piece of brownie brittle a week as a treat). For week 3, I plan to start cutting out processed foods like frozen ready meals, sugary breakfast cereals, and all unhealthy snacks. During week 4, I plan on adding more protein like grilled chicken and salmon and adding in whole grains. Finally, I plan on upping my veggie intake during week 5 as the last piece of my plan.

How will I stay accountable? I’m going to be logging everything I eat, and I’ll have my friends to keep me in check. If this works, you’ll probably be seeing a grouchy post from me soon about how being healthy is stupid or overrated :’) .

Sending cautiously optimistic advice,

Emily

DISCLAIMER: I’m not a dietitian or qualified to dispense eating/ healthy living advice, but I did anyways. I apologize if my plan/ advice isn’t the best because I mainly pieced together tidbits that I had picked up from friends who had read articles on healthy eating and from Buzzfeed videos (LOL). This is just me putting together a plan that will work for me to get healthy. πŸ™‚

PS: Hit me up with some suggestions on how you stay healthy. I need all the help I can get.

The Time I Almost Died

Once upon a time, my friends and I went exploring. At night.

It was 8 pm on a Sunday night and I had just gotten back from the gym (wow can we just appreciate the fact that I actually went to the gym). I had listened to One Direction (RIP) the entire time that I had been at the gym and I was PUMPED. Sooo, when I ran into some friends in the knuckle (the common area in the dorm), I stopped and chatted with them. They immediately told me that they were waiting on one of their friends to show up, so that they could go on an adventure (they actually had no idea where they were going yet). As I laughed, they invited me to come along, and I agreed (because what else are you supposed on a Sunday night?).

When their friend showed up, we headed off, and our adventure began. Well, technically, our adventure began after we sat in parking deck for 10 minutes, picking a place to explore. We finally picked a destination– the Vulcan. (The Vulcan is the world’s largest cast-iron statue, and it’s pretty magical when you go up onto the city viewpoint at night and look at the city lights.)

Jamming in the car to some old songs, we made it to the Vulcan in no time at all. Once we got there, we raced up to the top of the Vulcan and scoped out the city. Wow. It was so beautiful. I had so much love for my new city and my heart overflowed with so many emotions: gratitude, love, joy, and hope. Gratitude and love for my friends and family that had helped me get to where I was that day, joy for all the fun I was having, and hope for the beautiful city I was seeing.

After about 30 minutes and wayyyy too many jokes about the floor breaking, I was ready to be back on the ground and not 50 feet in the air. However, when we got back down, we weren’t ready for the night to end. Thus, someone suggested we check out the trail that went around the Vulcan, and we all agreed wholeheartedly.

As we made our way through the trail, everyone laughed and joked around. (I focused on not tripping.) When we had walked for about 10 minutes, we decided to head back, because we didn’t want to get too far into the trail. On our way back, two of my friends suddenly stopped, and frantically gestured for us to be quiet. Me being me, I hadn’t noticed their motions and I was still happily chattering away and not tripping. My friends quickly smacked me (almost making me trip), motioned for me to stop talking, and pointed at a dark shape on a rock.

At first I thought that I was looking at a strange looking rock. Then, I realized that the weird shape was a person. EVERYTHING SUDDENLY MADE SENSE. I nodded knowingly at my friends, and then realized the gravity of the situation. One of my friends started, took a deep breath, and then quickly pushed us to move. He set a quick pace (I tripped), and soon we were back at the parking lot. He hurried us into the car, and then explained. The person sitting on the rock had been wearing a ski mask and had suddenly stood up from the rock. This was confirmed by my two other friends.

That’s when I started freaking out. We could’ve been mugged, or worse. After a couple of hyperventilating breaths, I calmed down a bit, and agreed with the boys that we needed icecream. When we made it to Wendy’s, we all cautiously got out of the car, looked around, and made our way inside. Later, after a chocolate frosty and some good conversation, my heart stopped trying to beat out of my chest and I began to relax.

So that’s my story. That’s how I almost died. What’s the moral of the story? Don’t go hiking at night πŸ™‚ .

See ya soon,

Emily

ABOUT THE PICTURE: I apologize for my outfit and non-makeuped face. I had just gotten back from the gym :’) . It’s the memory that counts, right?